by Kent Sterling
So Helio goes crazy because IndyCar honcho Brian Barnhart assesses a black flag penalty for blocking teammates Will Power’s attempt to pass. Helio disagrees, ignores the directive to pit, and finishes in the lead of the IndyCar race in Edmonton last Sunday.
When informed that he did not win the race, Helio loses his mind and grabs IndyCar official Charles Burns by the collar. All this is caught on video and replayed countless times on ESPN, giving more heat to IndyCar, excluding Danica Patrick Go Daddy commercials, than for anything since A.J. Foyt knocked Arie Luyendyk into some bushes at the Texas Motor Speedway in 1997.
Here’s the video of the Helio’s really not too crazy craziness:
For his lunacy, Helio might be suspended from racing in the series for a short period of time.
Is someone at IndyCar on crack? What the hell is going on when a driver brings light and focus to a racing series in dire need of both is discouraged from doing it again? No one thought the race official, who looked like he could have snapped Helio like a twig anytime during the fracas, was in any danger, and there was no damage done. Just an agitated Brazilian losing his temper and flailing into the path of a person who had no reason to fear Helio more than Chumley feared Mr. Whoopee (Chumlee was a walrus in the old Tennessee Tuxedo cartoons, and Mr. Whoopee an elderly professorial type who owned the 3D-BB, and three-dimensional blackboard Mr. Whoopee used to show Tennessee and Chumlee how to outwit their foes. Oh the hell with it. It’s a shitty reference)
A series like IndyCar should pass out cigars and gold watches to drivers who give ESPN a reason to pay attention to a road race held on the runways of an Edmonton airport.
Drama is good. Without it, no one would watch sports. Unless we see a demonstrative display of emotion and personality, why would I root for anyone. Nice smiling men and women going is circles isn’t going to drive ratings on Versus or any other network.
Penalizing the very behavior that led to IndyCar getting some face time on the Worldwide Leader should be praised, not damned or fined. Car owners should list combustability as one of the trait to which they hire, and for God’s sake, find us a villain.
I’ve written it enough times that my fingers are tired of hitting these same keys in sequence, but here it is again. These events shouldn’t be races, but TV shows. Build TV shows that happen to feature a race. The drivers are characters, and so are the cars. When all the drivers and cars are the same, no one cares who wins. The cars are the same, and will be even when the new Dallara is debuted in 2012, despite the efforts to allow teams to customize. All the teams are going to figure out quickly which package runs best and mimic it.
Fans need to be emotionally invested in the drivers. Helio and the easily irritated Danica, the
drivers people care about because we see their frustration, anger, and joy. The others are drones who can drive fast. Scott Dixon may be the nicest and fastest driver alive, but does he have 10 fans? It’s okay, NASCAR has the same issue with Jimmie Johnson.
A series can live with a couple of comparatively dull drivers, but not 18. Tony Kanaan – nice funny guy. Dario Franchitti – nice guy, aging starlet camera-loving wife. Will Power – no idea. Ryan Briscoe – ditto Kanaan. Dan Wheldon – nice big teeth and cool accent. Tomas Schekter – now we’re getting there because he’s a reckless daredevil who pisses drivers off. Justin Wilson – Tall. Marco Andretti – Young. Vitor Meira/Mario Moraes/Raphael Matos/E.J. Viso – are they replicants? If you can tell one from another, your name is Vince Welch, Jack Arute, Curt Cavin, Kevin Lee, or Jake Query. Minus Danica and Helio, who are these people? I know their names. I watch, and have for years, but I have no idea who they are.
If IndyCar wants to gain in popularity, people in their homes (who know where the hell Versus is on their DirecTV – channel 603 – or cable package) need to be able to recognize these people as a collection of personalities, and not just pilots of crazy fast cars.
It’s not enough to go fast anymore. You have to bring recognizable characteristics. To get ratings, IndyCar needs to encourage displays of personality, not penalize them.
Mr. Sterling,
Nobody writes like that.
No one demonstrates such a concise view of the big picture issues which the IRL is incabable of grasping…from its damnation on Versus, to its ineffective strategy for introducing variables for the next generation of Dallaras.
I was hoping that Charles Burns would react to the provocation, at least enough to make Helio tinkle on his little booties.
And the Danica pic: works for me, how about they put that on the side of her cowling, next to her name?
Seriously, your points are correct but this instance will have no more effect than the A.J./ Arie bingle. And it points out all of the inadequacies of the IRL to the casual fan, just as you have.
We’ll both hope that the results are beneficial in the eyes of the outside world. Some will see the incompetence of the finish (which was correctly determined by a flawed rule), and continue to dismiss the IRL as a DNQ. The witch hunt for Brian Barnhart’s head by the Gomeristas is a public display that will disgust any outsider who happens across it.
“Bad pub = good pub” might have legs, and your view might be the best analysis in the long run.
To my eye most of Sunday’s events, and the aftermath, look a little different.
This is damage, without the damage control.
Great racing enables drivers to become household names. As the IRL runs now, they don’t have a shot.