by Kent Sterling

The deal for a Tampa Bay Bays pitcher with a live arm, but mediocre results is the typical and detestable deal that have marked the last five years of the Jim Hendry reign of malaise on Chicago’s North Side.

He assembles pieces like a fantasy baseball manager – pretty stats over true production, although he abandoned that this offseason trading for the fading talents 32-year-old Carlos Pena, who joins a team that strikes out every five at-bats like that’s a good thing.

Here are four reasons to hate this deal as much as I do:

1. Garza’s record for Tampa is 34-31 in his three seasons there for a 52.3 winning percentage.  The Rays won 57% of their games.  That means, for those who require an explanation, Garza won 4.7% less often the the median result on that staff.
2. Last season, the Rays won 96 games with a $70-million payroll on their way to an American League East title over the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox.  That means the Rays are really smart.  Hendry and the Cubs spent $146-million to win 75 games.  That means the Cubs are not so smart.  When dummies deal with sharpies, guess who gets the best of a deal?
3. Chicago is Garza’s third stop – with his moves coming after trades.  That means two teams, the Rays and equally smart Minnesota Twins moved him for Delmon Young and Brendan Harris.  The Rays and Twins haven’t traded Garza because they thought he had a better upside than those they received in return.  The Twins were right.  Let’s see if the very smart Rays were duped by the idiot Hendry.
4. The Cubs gave up Chris Archer, Brandon Guyer, Robinson Chirinos, and Hak Ju-Lee.  Hendry made a similar deal in 2005 shipping pitchers Ricky Nolasco, Reynel Pinto, and Sergio Mitre for Juan Pierre, who lasted one year in Wrigley Field.  The Cubs won 66 games in 2006, and Pierre left as a free agent the following offseason.  So for a guy who (despite leading the NL in hits) led the Cubs to a single season of misery, the Cubs gave up three prospects who have put together nice careers – more than nice for Nolasco.

Cubs owner Tom Ricketts continues to look Hendry in the eye and believe that his ideas can lead the Cubs to a championship, which shows that business acumen doesn’t translate to all pursuits.

Ricketts dad founded TD Ameritrade, and Tom led the family did to acquire the Cubs.  He was smart enough to get his undergrad degree and MBA from the University of Chicago, so the hope that he would see Hendry as the stooge that he is seemed reasonable.

If Hendry is still the general manager of the Chicago Cubs in a year, I’m going to petition the University of Chicago to rescind both degrees and set fire to both diplomas.

If he fires Crane Kenney as the team president and hires Pat Gillick to replace him, I will present him with the Sterling Order of Merit, and host weeklong party for him with plate spinners, dancing bears, dancers on stilts, and a special rendition of “My Kind of Owner” by Frank Sinatra, Jr.