Zionsville Lions Park Sign letter changes – I didn’t do it!

by Kent Sterling

ZvilleBack in the day, I enjoyed shuffling the letters on those low tech signs that allowed hyperactive adolescents to spell something new and occasionally profane.

They provided an opportunity for jumble-esque fun while also providing some laughs.

As Zionsville police continue to question junior high students and adults with seventh grade sensibilities, I would like to offer an alibi for my whereabouts on the night when the letters of the Zionsville Lions Park were shuffled to form a silly, borderline profane manner.

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I was at the movies, or working late.  I mean, my wife and I were playing Yahtzee.  Wait, no!  I was working out.  I’m sure there’s video.  It wasn’t.  Not this time.  Hell, Zionsville is too far for me to be intrigued by an operation this immature.

While I am no longer fascinated enough with the process to seek out signs with removable letters to provide the opportunity to amuse myself with such childish pursuits, I can still appreciate those who embrace the challenge.

Zionsville Lions Park’s sign was a recent target of that level of juvenile hijynx.  See the picture at left for what the sign was changed to.  Given the remnant letters left on the third row, it’s easy to see where the necessary Ts came from.

Not sure my happiness that kids (I’m assuming the perp(s) are under 25) are still motivated to engage in such silliness doesn’t reveal some giant hole in my character, or at least a penchant for infantile humor, but this will make me laugh all day for two reasons.  The first is that the person responsible faced the question of whether this was worth getting arrested while in the middle of the process and continued anyway with his head on a swivel.

Second, this undoubtedly pissed off the person in charge of maintaining the sign – likely a volunteer who wants to answer to Zionsville officials about the complaints received at the town hall like he or she would welcome a case of shingles.

Sure, it’s a waste of time to stand in front of the sign, trying to figure out what silly thing can be spelled with a limited supply of letters, but it’s also the kind of silliness that makes life a little more fun.

I remember when I was a Cub Scout, we took a bus to the Field Museum in Chicago on a Saturday morning.  I saw that a giant plaster cow had been taken from the roof of a steak house and plopped on to the top of an ice cream store across the street.  All the third and fourth graders on the bus thought it was hilarious.  Imagine my pride when I found out later that night, my uncle was a part of the posse who did the job.

I’ve done similar things dozens of times.  An one of those cheesy all-inclusive hotels in Mexico, there was a sign welcoming Firestone dealers to the hotel.  We went old school simple as we spelled “Welcome Fart Poop!”  Still makes us laugh.

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Is our society improved by idiocy like this?  Absolutely it is.  We need all the reasons to laugh we can get, and we should that the near adult with a fourth grade sensibility for taking the time and minimal risk to not only make himself laugh, but the rest of us too.

It’s not anti-social – it’s pro-fun!

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