Author Archives: Kent Sterling

Indiana Pacers – Whether Paul George Fathered a Child is None of Our Business, and Coverage Should Stop

by Kent Sterling

Fame has rewards and penalties. Pacers wing Paul George is in the penalty phase right now, and it’s ridiculous.

Someone should stand up to TMZ and tell them that we just don’t care what they report.

I’m not talking about the rabble that consumes gossip as a guilty pleasure. I’m talking about the media. A story appears on TMZ, and suddenly normal people are asking dumb questions to satisfy the public’s curiosity about something that is none of our business.

The latest story of this ilk is whether Indiana Pacers wing Paul George is the father of a child being carried by a woman in Miami. He was quizzed about the report this morning.

Click here to follow Kent on Twitter

I’m as goofy as the next guy about reading gossip, and I am actually an admirer of the TMZ television show. The staging is clever; the content is insipid. So of course, it’s a big success.

The blurring of the lines between news and gossip is driven by the craving for page views, and if TMZ.com can get ten million people to point and click because it reports that Selena Gomez is a drunk, Bruce Jenner is pissed because he looks too feminine, and George is going to be a dad, why shouldn’t traditional media share in the bonanza?

There needs to be a line somewhere, and if traditional media isn’t going to enforce it, who the hell will? Our curiosity as media consumers shouldn’t drive every editorial decision made by the “respectable” media.

“Did you have sex with a lady in Miami that produced a fetus that she continues to carry?” is not a question I am ever going to pose to a good friend, much less a professional basketball player whom I barely know.

Consumers are not owed that information, and news outlets are under no obligation to provide it.

Fame comes with the miserable cost of being held accountable for behavior that should be private, and ultimately we are responsible because we consume it. There is no point in trying to cajole millions to care about only those things that are truly important – our families, friends, finances, and choice of cable/satellite provider. That ship sailed centuries ago, and I am a not-so-proud passenger who giddily awaits an enabled and self-immersed boob like Justin Bieber to learn that even a pampered life has boundaries.

The grown-ups in this equation needs to be the big time media that can decide to set the agenda or follow TMZ into an abyss where curiosity determines content.

Maybe I’m a little haughty is hoping for the Indianapolis Star, the local TV news departments, and radio stations like WIBC to set the agenda rather than responding to a money grab by TMZ, the National Enquirer, and the other gossip mongers, but I still have hope that someone will decide that journalism isn’t simply a response for what readers, viewers, and listeners crave.

Click here to call the best dentist in Indy your own – Dr. Mike O’Neil wants to take care of your teeth!

Indianapolis media are usually ignore this kind of idiocy because little happens here that interests the bottom feeders. I hoped it was because they were above it. We learned different this week. TMZ squawks, and the echo is everywhere – even in quaint Marion County.

As the chief potentate of my own little corner of the media world, I can only control what I do. If I talk to George tonight after the game against Portland, I will be as likely to ask George about his private life as he would be to ask about mine.

He won’t ask because he doesn’t care what I do out of the public eye, and I won’t ask for the same reason.

[polldaddy poll=7782009]

NFL’s Policy on Pot Should Change to Allow for Stupidity of Players

by Kent Sterling

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell knows the right answer to the question of pot use in the NFL, but also knows the wrong answer is better for business.

The affection some people have for pot use is baffling. I spent a lot of time in high school and college around those who enjoyed getting stoned, and their behavior convinced me of its idiocy.

When stoned, people sit quietly insulated from others. That’s not the way I want to live one minute of my life, so embracing weed use was not on my agenda. Endangering your health should come with a benefit, not a penalty.

Click here to follow Kent on Twitter

That doesn’t mean others can’t find a way to enjoy themselves while high. Pharmaceuticals affect people differently, and who am I to judge whether smoking pot is good for a cornerback in the NFL or a college student living in a dorm?

Pittsburgh Steelers safety Ryan Clark was quoted by ESPN.com that he has teammates who smoke pot for a variety of reasons, “I know guys on my team who smoke,” Clark said. “And it’s not a situation where you think, ‘Oh, these are guys trying to be cool.’ These are guys who want to do it recreationally.

“A lot of it is stress relief. A lot of it is pain and medication. Guys feel like, ‘If I can do this, it keeps me away from maybe Vicodin, it keeps me away from pain prescription drugs and things that guys get addicted to.’ Guys look at this as a more natural way to heal themselves, to stress relieve and also to medicate themselves for pain. Guys are still going to do it.”

Of course, anesthetization is a poor remedy for life’s challenges, but people are mostly dumb beasts just trying to beat the heat until they die, so pot use is rampant – as is drinking, as is the use of more insidious drugs. Hey, if smart people like Phillip Seymour Hoffman are willing to stick needles filled with heroin in their arms, what are the chances of getting a bunch of well-paid athletes to embrace a clean and sober lifestyle?

The NFL is talking about the possibility of eliminating marijuana from its list of banned substances, but there is really not much need to lift the prohibition. The testing protocol allows for tests during OTAs or minicamp, and then once in the preseason. That’s it. So once the tests are administered during the preseason, smoke ’em if you got ’em.

Honesty is a good policy, and hypocrites are the lowest form of scum, so the NFL saying that pot use is cool by them just makes sense. The timing of their tests shows they know getting 2,000 valuable assets to toe the line is impossible. Commissioner Roger Goodell saying that he will get out of the way of dumbasses being dumbasses would be refreshing.

Adults with a functioning brain know the score. The drug policy in the NFL has nothing to do with the health of the players, and everything to do with marketing. Many fans don’t feel good about investing their hard earned cash on a product played by a bunch of stoners, so they make a lot of noise about drug prevention, and every once in awhile some boob or addict tests dirty and is suspended because he can’t stay clean for the brief periods in front of the tests he knows are coming.

There are former players committing suicide regularly because of degenerative memory loss from the unavoidable blunt force trauma inherent in football. Steering players away from recreational pot use can’t rightfully be claimed as a moral initiative of the NFL as long as former players can’t remember where they live because of repeated brain injuries suffered during practices and games.

Click here to trust your teeth to Indiana’s best dentist – Dr. Mike O’Neil at Today’s Dentistry

People aren’t very bright. Even the smartest people on the planet do dumb things. Expecting more of people than that which they are capable has long been a root cause of humanity’s apparent love of disappointment. Those who preach tolerance are often the most judgmental. Those who demand chastity are prone toward sexual indulgences. Hey, if the Catholic Church is paying millions and millions to hundreds of victims of priests who lived secret lives as sexual predators, who are we to expect young and rich men who grew up in a drug culture to not fire up once in a while?

Does it make sense for people who make lots of money with their bodies to inhale poison on a regular basis? No, but there are a lot of things that don’t make sense. Is it logical for the poor to waste their money gambling on state run lotteries with roughly a 50% payout? It’s worse than wrong. It’s a state sanctioned super-predatory tax.

Don’t believe me? Drive to a gas station selling MegaMillions tickets when the jackpot gets to $200 million. The people waiting in line to piss away their cash is filled with the people who can least afford to lose.

Let’s get off our high horse and lower our hope for humanity. We are flawed. We are stupid. Accept it. We should judge less and laugh more.

If NFL players want to harm their own minds and bodies, why make a show of trying to stop them?

[polldaddy poll=7781628]

Chicago Cubs – Darwin Barney Signs One-Year Deal Ensuring Another Year of Mediocrity

by Kent Sterling

One of the worst offensive starting second basemen in baseball history, and Darwin Barney will be paid $2.3 million in 2014. You would smile too.

In 2013, Darwin Barney put up numbers making him one of the worst offensive starting second basemen in baseball history, and he will be paid $2.3 million in 2014. You would smile too.

Have you ever had a job where an inept oaf continued to receive promotion after promotion without justification, other than an inability for management to see him for who he is? On the Chicago Cubs, that employee is second baseman Darwin Barney

There was a time that I was bullish on Darwin Barney. At least he could field his position at a very high level

Last year cured me of my appreciation of Barney’s skill set. In 2013, he hit .208 with a .266 on base percentage. .266! Hard to imagine a worse starting offensive second baseman. Even harder to find one. By several measurements, Barney had the greatest negative impact on his team than any other player in baseball, and was historically inept in run creation.

Click here to follow Kent on Twitter

Among those with more than 500 plate appearances, Barney’s only competition for maladroit work at the plate were Marlins shortstop Adeiny Hechavarria and Royals shortstop Alcides Escobar, shortstop for the Kansas City Royals.

I could cite a litany of statistics found at Baseball Prospectus and Fan Graphs that show Barney’s historic offensive bungling, but that would only be cruel. I’ll indulge in just one, which is my favorite for comparing players offensive contributions: weighted runs created plus (adjusted for the ballpark and league). Barney ranks second worst in baseball in wRC+ at 51. For the curious, Cubs shortstop Starlin Castro ranks fourth worst.

In the long history of the Chicago Cubs, there are two players who approached Barney’s offensive depths. In 2006, shortstop Ronnie Cedeno posted at sub-putrid 49 in wRC+. Prior to that, 1894 2b/3b Jiggs Parrott was the only player to drop below Barney’s 51.

Oddly, during Cedeno and Barney’s awful years, the Cubs won exactly 66 games.

Former Cubs Eddie Miksis, Footsie Blair, and Jimmy Cooney also wasted good lumber at the plate, but none ever had a year as bad as Barney’s in 2013.

Mario Mendoza is the benchmark for inert bat wielding. No manager was ever deranged enough to allow him to pile up 500 plate appearances, so he doesn’t qualify for a valid comparison

So the Cubs signed him for $2.3 million. The St. Louis Cardinals earned a berth in the 2103 World Series with 17 players earning less than $2 million.

That’s $2.3 million for the player who put together the worst offensive season for a second baseman since 1894. If you did something worse than anyone at your business all the way back to the 19th Century, would you have any chance to keep your job? Playing for the Cubs, you get a raise!

One piece of solid advice for Barney – open a 401K immediately, be aggressive with contributions, and save the rest. The Cubs can’t be stone cold idiots forever.

Winter Olympics – Twin Toilets Make Sochi Worst All-Time Venue

by Kent Sterling

This toilet scheme would cause confusion, then revulsion, and then a u-turn.

If we see American athletes doubled over in a pain as they try to execute a triple salchow or a front side 900, there will be a good reason. Using the facilities will be a challenge for those accustomed to solitude.

Sochi is at the foot of the Black Sea, and now we know why the Black Sea is black.

I have seen photos of toilets separated by a foot and nothing else, and toilets facing chairs. Presumably the chairs are for those awaiting their turn to defecate for a small audience.

Click here to follow Kent on Twitter

There have been times when I have passed on the opportunity to avail myself of the facilities because another person was in a public restroom. If a mostly sanitary four-walled stall with a locking door didn’t provide the privacy I required because another guy was washing his hands, you can imagine my hesitation to offload with several people staring at me.

Before these photos were published, it never occurred to me that the possibility of sitting inches from another man as we both de-wasted even existed – other than in fetish films that I have successfully avoided.

If I were employed by a media outlet that required me to attend these games, I would seriously consider resignation before immersing myself in a culture where this kind of attitude toward the final step of digestion is deemed acceptable.

If I were an athlete who worked his entire life toward competing in the Winter Olympics, and through the luck of timing qualified for the Sochi Games, I would have a furious conversation with the fates that brought me to the land of porcelain sidecars. Tanking in qualifications would be a serious consideration.

I’m curious what the International Olympic Committee’s set of requirements for hosting the Winter Games might be if they don’t include the opportunity for a solitary and restful experience while seated for business.

While I have not traveled extensively, I have never seen this level of enforced camaraderie during waste expulsion. At a cockfight in rural

Maybe the chairs are for the judges, and defecation is now an Olympic sport.

Mexico, the hosts were kind enough to provide a port-a-let. Granted, the port-a-let was nothing more than the outer plastic shell with a rogue toilet atop a cement slab without a connection to plumbing or even a hole in the ground, but at least the door locked. Despite the superior accommodations to those in Sochi, I do not recommend attending a cockfight. They are even more savage and weird than you can imagine.

Perhaps even worse are the signs near the toilets demanding that toilet paper not be flushed. The obvious question is what should be done with the fouled paper tissue? Do patrons need to walk their paper across the room to a receptacle? If so, do they need to lay the paper on the floor as they pull their pants up? Even if there is a garbage can within arms reach of the throne, is there a lid? If not, it’s disgusting. If so, it’s even more disgusting because if it’s one of those cans with a flip top lid, people likely move the lid by pushing it with the soiled tissue.

In the picture above, it appears the trash bin is equipped with a pedal that propels the lid into an open position, which I saw as a positive until I tried to reach that far back with my foot while on a toilet. Impossible to reach without standing, and the last thing I want to do while sitting completely uncloaked 18 inches from another guy in full expulsion mode is to stand and turn toward him to de-lid the can.

As a tourist, there are few places I would refuse to experience, but the land where public disposal of yesterday’s dinner is encouraged would slide quickly to the bottom of the list, right above Kabul, Damascus, and Lubbock (the Fort Wayne of Texas).

Indiana Football – Kevin Wilson Says Class Deep, Not Flashy

by Kent Sterling

Indiana football coach Kevin Wilson sounds like a guy headed into his fourth season as a Big Ten football coach. He was as pleased with his new players as a kid on Christmas morning with 26 new toys.

Click here to follow Kent on Twitter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ig5MdvZbSA

Signing day is the one day of the season all coaches seem happy. They see the great promise of the kids who have just pledged their through to spend four or five years working hard to help them succeed, and Wilson is obviously looking forward to working with the 26 players that signed on the line that is dotted this morning.

The short story is that what this class lacks in “splashy” players with impressive rankings, it makes up for with size and depth.

A defense with corners that have size,and replacing rangy receivers was a priority, as was size along both lines.

Indiana returns 18 starters, so most of the freshmen will have some time to develop. The age of Indiana trying to force lineman not ready to play appears to be over, and that’s a good thing.

Evidence of Wilson’s pleasure in the quality of the class was his return to the room after the end of the press conference to share a funny recruiting story off the record. That was a new level of relaxation for Wilson.

National Signing Day – The Last Day the Players Have Any Power or Freedom

by Kent Sterling

Families gather under the spotlight to see which hat and school a kid will choose. They should enjoy that moment.

The thousands of high school seniors signing their letters of intent today to play football at FBS schools across the country need to smile broadly and feel very good about their decision today because once the letter is faxed, their lives will change forever.

Once today is over, the schools and coaches hold all the cards. They call the shots, and the players need to do what they are told. If they don’t, scholarships are pulled and transfers are in order – along with a potential temporary loss of eligibility.

Up until today, the coaches were the sellers in the recruiting relationship and the players the sellers. Today, the roles flip, and all the power shifts to the coaches.

Click here to follow Kent Sterling on Twitter

I remember watching Indiana Basketball coach talk to Damon Bailey after an IU game when Bailey was a junior at Bedford North Lawrence High School. Knight had his arm around Bailey in the corner of Assembly Hall as the two shared a laugh about something. I thought, “Don’t get used to being the Bobber’s buddy, Damon.”

All though friendly chats on the phone end today. Tomorrow, the future of all those coaches’ careers will rest upon the work ethic, dedication, ability to listen, and athletic ability of the soon-to-be college football players.

These coaches aren’t being paid millions of dollars to serve as a camp counselor, leading everyone in a rousing version of “Michael, Row Your Boat Ashore.” They are paid to win, and more importantly they are fired for losing. The relationship between the player and coach is driven by the coach’s desire to either keep his job or bounce upward to a more prominent and financially flush program.

That’s not only true for the head coach, but for the coordinators and position coaches too.

The coach is more drill sergeant and less mentor. That’s the reality of football. The winner of each play is most often the guy willing to do what his opponent was not. Putting your body in harm’s way is not a natural act, and fear is a reasonable motivator not only for making a great play, but for investing the time and effort needed to prepare to make the great play.

Recruits don’t get to see that side of the coach during their official visits, the lengthy phone calls, and the genial home visits when the decision to attend a school is made.

Sadly, the chances of a head coach remaining with a program through the entirety of a players college career is less than 50%, and the odds of a coordinator or position coach bolting for another gig are even greater. That renders moot the comfort a kid and his family forge with a coach whom they believe will stick around for the next five years. But they don’t realize that at the time.

They are made to feel coveted by the coach, who when presented with a better opportunity to provide for his family will leave the current school for another often without any thought, regret, or goodbye. It happens all the time, but it always shocks the players left to fend for the respect of the new coach.

One of the most valuable lessons young men learn from participating in college football and basketball is that bosses rarely screw around. When they ask for effort and it’s not given, consequences occur. There are no consequences for recruits, but they are coming soon enough.

Teeth hurt? Click here to see the best dentist in Indiana

Recruiting is a fool’s paradise, and all those fools are about to be presented with the shock of their lives. The men who just gave them a hug are about to show them a very different side of themselves.

College football is a man’s world, and after today all those former recruits will learn that. So go ahead and sit there at a table covered with hats. Pick one, and then wipe that smile off your face and go to work.

DirecTV vs. AT&T U-Verse – Which Is Best for Sports Fans?

by Kent Sterling

The day my family got cable was one of the best moments of my life. Not being limited to the three networks was liberating, and being able to watch the Cubs everyday after moving to southern Indiana gave me a taste of home.

After an adulthood of pirating cable while in college, switching to DirecTV after it was generously gifted as a wedding present a full decade after Julie and I married by the great Len Totlan, and then finally pulling the trigger to bundle all media under the AT&T umbrella, I am again ready to explore options.

Click here to follow Kent Sterling on Twitter

The problem is that getting a straight answer out of a salesperson or from a website from either DirecTV or UVerse is difficult. Comparing two services is damn near impossible because of the different tiers of options.

My knowledge of DirecTV is that the NFL Sunday Ticket is available only there. MLB Extra Innings too. DirecTV also has a ton of 1080p HD programming. All great selling points. The downside to DirecTV is the occasional issues with dish clutter – like snow – that can mess up reception.

When I had DirecTV in the past, the occasional signal outages weren’t that big a deal. We have an over the air antenna, so when the satellite gets squirrelly we adjust.

U-Verse is okay. Not great. Not bad. No complaints really, but no joy either. A couple of annoyances – I feel like I’m wasting a bunch of bandwidth by having hundreds of standard def stations on channels 1-999. I hate that they exist. I have no use for them, so I would like for them to vanish. I’m well aware they are easily ignored, but it’s a lot like disregarding feral cats in the backyard. I don’t walk around in the backyard, but who wants rogue felines cavorting about?

The sports coverage is okay with UVerse, but the points of differentiation I’ve noticed are useless contrivances. They have six or seven cameras at Wrigley Field that you can specifically access to watch a Cubs game. I visited a couple of times – enjoying it for a few minutes because I like the wide shots so you can see the positioning of the players. As much as I like that, the static long shot got old in a hurry. That might have worked back in the 1950s, but without a little movement, watching the game is duller than hell.

There is a difference with the DVR. With DirecTV, you can go back in time up to five weeks to record a program. If that’s possible with U-Verse, no one told me. You can also record five programs at once on DirecTV. Now I can’t imagine there ever being five shows on simultaneously that I would want to watch – not as long as programmers continue to renew vapid dreck like “Two Broke Girls,” but it’s nice to know. With U-Verse, the maximum is three – I think.

The cost is roughly equivalent after the discounts that apply for the first 12 months, but the free NFL Sunday Ticket for 2014 with DirecTV is a nice bonus with DirecTV.

Another strange difference is that the DVR on the DirecTV receiver holds something like 800 hours of HD programming. God help me if I ever hoard a backlog of 800 hours of stuff I need to watch, but in my world more is always better than less.

So it seems I have made my decision to return to the satellite driven delivery system of DirecTV, and jettison AT&T. I think the reason is that I still see AT&T as a phone company, and all DirecTV does is feed TV into our homes. My imagination tells me that there are dozens of conference rooms at AT&T’s headquarters where overpaid executives meet endlessly to talk landline service, cell service, internet service, TV service, and all kinds of other services. At DirecTV, there is one room where they try to figure out how to bring quality television programming into my home, and that’s it.

I’m sure the reality differs from my imagination, but its wisdom drives my decision making.

You might wonder why no discussion about the Dish Network. DirecTV and U-Verse are like Nordstrom and Von Maur in my world. Dish is TJ Maxx. I would rather buy one high quality and expensive shirt than six cheap shirts that unravel in the washing machine. Couldn’t tell you why because TV is TV, but I can’t imagine dealing with Dish.

Hello, DirecTV, it’s Kent and I want to come back.

Indiana Pacers – Andrew Bynum Signing a No Risk Bargain

by Kent Sterling

The addition of Andrew Bynum may bring a championship to Indianapolis, and is well worth the minimal and easily managed risk.

Andrew Bynum needs to rehab his image. The Indiana Pacers need a backup center who can be an offensive force and protect the rim. His signing Saturday looks like a potential marriage made in basketball heaven.

There is a school of thought that a team with a 37-10 record has earned a chance to compete for an NBA Championship as currently constructed. Backup center Ian Mahinmi has worked hard, and as long as the Pacers win, why rock the boat?

Stupid comes in a lot of forms, but trusting a roster to win a championship when the opportunity to improve it sails right on by might be dumb management in its most profound form.

Click here to follow Kent Sterling on Twitter

Whether you like Bynum or not, and if you are a basketball fan in Indiana I’m going to assume you don’t know Bynum well enough to judge, the guy has two rings from the Lakers 2009 and 2010 NBA Championship teams, and was an all-star two years ago.

He’s only 26 years old, and averaged between 14.7 and 19.1 points and 9.5 and 12.7 rebounds per 36 minutes during the past six seasons in which he has played.

Bynum is not just a good player; he’s an elite player on both ends of the floor being brought in to back up another young all-star center. If he plays with passion and buys into the Pacers team-first culture, the Pacers will jump from being a co-favorite to represent the Eastern Conference in the NBA Finals to being prohibitive favorites to win the whole thing.

When team president Larry Bird spoke to the media Saturday, he said that Bynum will get a fresh start with the Pacers, and that he would prefer to judge Bynum for himself rather than take the word of others as he evaluates whether he can fit into the Pacers tight knit locker room.

One of the hallmarks of an effective manager is to judge the quality of employees for yourself, and another is to not concern yourself with what others think of you. Bird is exceptional in both areas. He’s not arrogant, but he knows that he will only be able to help the Pacers by being as smart as he can be, not be listening to what knuckleheads outside Bankers Life Fieldhouse believes.

He did the same thing with Lance Stephenson, and was excoriated by the media. Anyone want to turn the clock back three years to listen to the rabble (including me) bitch and moan about bringing in a “bad guy” who was going to ruin the team? I don’t either.

Bad managers listen to the media, and rest on their laurels. Bird does neither.

With all playing at or near their potential, a second unit of Bynum, former all-star Danny Granger, Luis Scola, and C.J. Watson with one of the current starters would be a playoff group in the Eastern Conference.

The proof will be in the pudding, and whatever the result is at the end of the season, no one is going to wonder whether Bird did everything he could to win a championship here. The additions of Scola and Watson were inspired, and Chris Copeland is still a strong offensive player whose talents have gone unneeded through the first 47 games.

If your teeth hurt, click here to learn about a dentist who will fix what’s wrong – Dr. Mike O’Neil at Today’s Dentistry

The Pacers are built to survive an injury or two, and thrive when healthy. The only risk in adding Bynum is that Mahinmi’s enthusiasm will drift as his minutes shrink, and that’s not a big enough concern to counter the good that Bynum can bring to the second half of what so far has been a special season.

Since 2009-2010, the Pacers win totals have climbed from 32 to 37 to 42 to last season’s 49 as they have continued to find ways to improve. At 37-10, they only need to go 24-11 the rest of the way to tie their all-time best 61 wins.

Bynum has the opportunity to be a big piece of the puzzle that tops that record and goes into the playoffs assured of playing the last game of every series in Indianapolis.

[polldaddy poll=7772549]

Indiana Basketball – Fake Interview with Tom Crean Provides Answers to Questions in the Way I Prefer

by Kent Sterling

Indiana basketball coach Tom Crean says all the right things during his post game media availability. After the win against Michigan yesterday, Crean spread the credit far and wide, and of course he’s right.

Basketball is a team game, and every one of the players and members of the staff contribute to every victory and defeat. The walk-ons who comprise the scout team work their hard to help the starters get ready for every game.

Click here to follow Kent Sterling on Twitter

The interview with Crean that is written below is what I would like to hear from him, not what I believe he should actually say, or would represent the truth.

KS: Great win yesterday.

TC: Yeah, Yogi went off.

KS: What did you do defensively that baffled Beilein?

TC: Defense? Sure, we held Stauskas to six points, but Yogi was throwing them in from Briscoe. He misses a couple, and you’re asking me what was wrong with our defense, and why we can’t score.

KS: What did you think about the students booing your substitutions in the first half that left Jeff Howard, Jonny Marlin, Austin Etherington, Hanner Perea, and Stan Robinson on the floor to play the last undefeated team in the Big Ten?

TC: They’re so easily played. The student section is my Stradivarius, and I am its master The key to filling Assembly Hall is building each game narrative to take them up and down a few times before the final payoff. Unpredictability is the key to the torment that engages the kids best. I can’t tell you how many times I put a player in just to get a rise out of the students.

KS: So you’re screwing with them.

TC: Those are your words. I would say, we are engaging them.

KS: Are you frustrated with the team’s inability to win the games they are supposed to while winning the games they shouldn’t?

TC: What do you think, sport? (laughs) No, again, this is all rigorously scripted. We are executing a tightly honed plan to build interest by defying expectations.

KS: The first part of your schedule had more cupcakes than a second grader’s birthday party. Why?

TC: Your metaphors wear my ass out, but to answer your idiotic question, would you rather have a team of freshmen and sophomores you coach win or lose as they learn? Seriously, are you an infant?

KS: What’s that brown goop you swig during games?

TC: Homemade chilled beef broth.

Crean is an interesting guy because we know very little about him. He’s a bulldog of a recruiter, and has a staff very adept at turning the skinny into well-muscled athletes.

Indiana is in the midst of one of the most bizarre seasons in its history, and Crean remains a tightly-wired enigma to fans. I would like to see him become more sarcastic and engaging, but in the absence of his unlikely decision to entertain me rather than focus all energy into coaching his team, I’ll write fake interviews that provide the answers I seek to questions few have the stones to ask.

Peyton Manning’s Legacy as Great Quarterback Takes Critical Hit During Brutal Super Bowl Performance

by Kent Sterling

The confetti fell like tears all around Peyton Manning as he finished short of his goal yet again.

Peyton Manning doesn’t play special teams, so no one can blame him for Percy Harvin’s kickoff return for a touchdown. And the safety on the first offensive play of the game was on the center, but Manning sure didn’t play well when the ball was in his normally sure hands.

One of the best quarterbacks of all time, Manning had a chance during yesterday’s Super Bowl to elevate his standing among the greats of the game. After throwing two interceptions, looking panicked throughout, and failing to make the plays needed to keep his Broncos in the game, Manning is hardly blameless for the 43-8 ass beating.

Click here to follow Kent Sterling on Twitter

If Manning is physically able to play at a high level for another two seasons, he has a very good chance to own most of the NFL’s significant records at quarterback. Regular season excellence is nice, but the lights shine brightest during the postseason. Careers are made and lost in January and February, and that is when Manning has been mediocre at best.

It’s not just the 11-12 postseason record that Manning now sports. He can’t be the scapegoat for every loss or a savior during every win. Football is a team game, but his performance during the postseason is a stark contrast to what he has routinely done during his 15 stellar seasons.

In 13 postseasons, Manning’s teams have been one-and-done eight times, and in seven of those, his quarterback rating was over 100 just once. In his 12 losses, Manning has totaled 13 picks and 13 touchdowns. In the 11 wins, Manning has thrown for 23 TDs and nine interceptions.

In 23 postseason games, Manning has posted a sub 100 quarterback rating 17 times. Those poor-to-mediocre performances led his teams to a 6-11 record. That leaves six games where he was 100+. Manning’s record in those games is 5-1.

In the regular season, Manning’s teams are a crazy 167-73.

There is no doubt that Manning has been one of the best regular season quarterbacks in the history of football. His intellect, work ethic, and physical talent has resulted in mind boggling stats and ten 12+ win seasons. Not only will Manning be a five-time MVP, his approximate value of 254 to his teams is tied with Brett Favre as the best ever, according to pro-football-reference .com.

Where does Manning stand compared to the meaningful records for quarterbacks?

Manning is 768 completions behind Favre after leading the NFL with 450 in 2013. At that pace, he’ll pass Favre during game ten of the 2015 season.
Manning is 6,874 passing yards behind Favre. At a pace of 5,000 yards per season, Manning will pass Favre with his final pass of the fifth game of the 2015 season.
Manning is 1,717 pass attempts behind Favre. In 2013, Manning averaged just over 41 attempts. At that pace, Manning will pass Favre during week ten of the 2016 season.
The first record that Manning will own over Brett Favre is touchdowns thrown. Manning is only 17 TDs behind Favre, and that record should fall sometime during the 5th, 6th, or 7th game next year.
Favre’s record for total offense is 70,195 yards. Manning is 6,274 behind, and at a conservative 4,500 yards per year, he will pass Favre in the first half of game seven in 2015.

Those records, plus the excellent branding earned by Manning and his laser rocket arm will lift him into the conversation as one of the best ever at quarterback, and on the periphery of talk about the most valuable player in NFL history.

But the overall mediocrity of Manning’s body of postseason work will always haunt him, and unless there is a reversal of fortune that results in at least one more Super Bowl Championship, he will never achieve a consensus ranking as the top gunslinger of all-time.

Click here to trust your dental care to the absolute best – Dr. Mike O’Neil at Today’s Dentistry

Are all those Colts and Broncos postseason losses attributable to Manning? No, but they were losses, and winning is the name of the game. Maybe he deserved to win multiple championships, but like William Munny (Clint Eastwood) says to Little Bill (Gene Hackman) as he prepares to kill him in Unforgiven, “Deserve’s got nothin’ to do with it.”

Manning might be on the Mount Rushmore of quarterbacks, but after last night, he’s not likely to ever stand alone.

[polldaddy poll=7769562]