60 – Vedie Himsl (10-21) – Himsl led the Cubs during three unsuccessful stints as the leader of the College of Coaches in 1961. What made him the worst of those guys who were forced to operate in an idiotic experiment? Nothing, but he’s the best known of the bunch because his name is fun to say.
59 – Rene Lachemann (0-1) – He had great hair, but a very brief stint bridging the gap between Don Baylor and Bruce Kimm in 2002.
58 – Joe Altobelli (0-1) – Poor Joe led the Cubs during the game separating Don Zimmer and Jim Essian. What the hell was he supposed to do – win that game?
57 – Roy Johnson (0-1) – The last of the three 0-1 guys, Johnson managed during 1944 as World War II raged. That gives him an edge over Altobelli and Lachemann.
56 – El Tappe (46-70) – Sounds like a cool nickname, but El was not Spanish for “The”, it was short for Elvin. Hard to blame anyone of the members of the College of Coaches, but he name was on the manager’s door for 116 games, and the buck stops there!
55 – Silver Flint (5-12) – His name sounds more like a super hero in a porn movie. He took over from Cap Anson at the end of the 1879 season. Anson led the same team to a 41-21 record, so I’m saying he sucks. Go ahead, argue with me!
54 – Jim Marshall (175-218) – At one point during his two-and-a-half seasons as a manager of the Cubs from 1974-1976, Marshall began wearing a toupee. I found that off-putting. The roster was better than the record with Bill Madlock, Andre Thornton, Rick Monday, and others.
53 – Dale Sveum (127-197) – The Cubs went full-on rebuild in 2013 and 2014. There was no way for Sveum to last more than two seasons, and he didn’t.
52 – Jimmie Wilson (213-258) – War time managers should get a pass, but someone needs to be ranked 52nd, right?
51 – Joey Amalfitano (66-115) – When Almafitano was hired, they said he would be boom or bust. Bust it was. His 1981 team was bereft of talent, but there is still no evidence to suggest he knew what the hell he was doing.
50 – Bruce Kimm (33-45) – A player for the Cubs briefly in 1979, Kimm took over for Don Baylor after fans and the front office soured on Don Baylor. He had one hit as a Cubs catcher. I had higher hopes for Kimm as a manager. He failed to meet those expectations. The next year, the Cubs came five outs away from going to the World Series. Maybe they learned something from Kimm. Maybe not. I was trying to write something nice.
49 – Frankie Frisch (141-196) – The Cubs were not good from 1949-1951, and that’s when Frisch was the manager. How much was his fault and how much was one of the worst starting rotations in Cubs history? Does it really matter?
48 – Harry Craft (7-9) – Another of the College of Coaches. Again, it’s not that they sucked as managers, although they might have. It’s the ludicrous concept that was the villain here. But they had three hall of famers in Ernie Banks, Billy Williams, and Ron Santo, so a little winning wasn’t out of the question, was it?
47 – Tom Loftus (118-161) – No relation to former Orioles pitcher Tom Phoebus, and why would you think that he is? He’s also not the originator of the punchline – “Loft us, damn near killed us!”
46 – Joe Tinker (67-86) – He was a hell of a shortstop – one of the greatest of the dead ball era, and the first name used in the famous poem. He was a better shortstop than manager, which seems to be a theme for the Cubs.
45 – 44 – 43 – Phil Cavaretta (169-213), Stan Hack (196-265), Bob Scheffing (208-254) – These three all played for the Cubs before becoming manager. Hack and Cavaretta were great in the 1930s and 1940s, and Scheffing was never great. Scheffing today would be nicknamed Bob “Effing” Scheffing. These guys managed back-to-back-to-back from 1951-1959, the only entire decade for the Cubs without hope, so these triplets of misery are lumped together.
42 – Lou Boudreau (54-83) – Flipping duties, Boudreau came out of the press box as a broadcaster into the dugout, and Grimm left as manager and became a broadcaster. That is sooooo Cubs.
41 – Charlie Metro (43-69) – Have you heard? The College of Coaches was idiotic. Metro was the sacrificial leader during much of the 1962 season. How did Metro not manage the Mets? He lived into his 90s, and was known to slap fans who referred to the 1962 season in any way during autograph shows (not really, but who could blame him).
40 – Rabbit Maranville (23-30) – Player-manager for the Cubs for part of 1925, so he ranks a little higher than he would otherwise. It has to be a little harder right. He was one of three managers that season, and all managed at least 26 games. That’s kind of odd. If this was a list ranking Cubs managers with animal nicknames, Maranville would be the only entry.
39 – Gene Michael (114-124) – Hired during the 1986 season and fired before the end of the 1987 season, Michael holds the Cubs record for games managed without completing a single season. I never recall him smiling, and given the Cubs luck during those two seasons, that dour disposition makes sense. He had a nice seat for 136 games of an MVP season for Andre Dawson, one of the greatest I’ve ever seen.
38 – Charlie Fox (17-22) – Fox was a sacrificial lamb in 1983 after taking over for Lee Elia toward the end of the 1983 season. Elia pulled Fergie Jenkins with one out in the top of the 9th of a 3-0 game with the Cubs 10 1/2 back. This was clearly Jenkins last season, and it would have been nice if Fergie could have finished the game for his final shutout. One crazed fan stormed to the back of the visitor’s dugout and screamed at Elia, “That it, you incompetent turd! Go ahead and pull him, jackass! Rob Fergie and the fans of their last chance for a moment of joy. You’re fired, or you will be soon! Fired! Do you hear me!” I’m not saying just who that fan was.
37 – Lou Klein (17-23) – The final member of the College of Coaches, the strangest fraternity in all of baseball, Klein rode the ship to the bottom of Lake Michigan in 1965, and was replaced by Leo Durocher.
36 – Preston Gomez (38-52) – Gomez was known as one of the great sign stealers in baseball history. That clearly was not enough to help a 1980 team that lacked, well, everything.
35 – Jim Essian (59-63) – When Essian was promoted from Triple A Iowa midway through 1992 to take over for Don Zimmer, players thought he was insane. His energy was contagious, but his material skill couldn’t overcome a fat Jerome Walton and a starting rotation that ran two-deep..
34 – Lee Elia (127-158) – Beloved, even by Cubs fans, for his rant about the fans at Wrigley Field, Elia was expected to be a little bit better than this when he was hired by Dallas Green. While his teams weren’t great, he is a great example for managers and coaches who want to keep their jobs as they deal with the media. It said in part – “Eighty-five percent of the $%#@! world is working. The other fifteen come out here. A $%#@!’ playground for the %&*#suckers.”
33 – 32 – 31 – Tom Trebelhorn (49-64), Jim Riggleman (374-419), Don Baylor (187-220) – These were all the same manager to me. The Cubs made the playoffs once during this period, winning a play-in game against the Giants in 1998. Other than that, the 1994-2002 era sucked for Cubs fans. In all fairness, the 1994 starting rotation was Steve Trachsel, Willie Banks, Anthony Young, Kevin Foster, and Mike Morgan. If there was ever a Cubs season in need of being strike-shortened, 1994 was it.
30 – Bob Ferguson (30-30) – Where the hell else am I going to rank a guy with a 30-30 record. Ferguson’s wife Bernice would cook an apple pie for Cubs who hit home runs for Ferguson’s 1878 team, which was prompted the saying, “as American as baseball and apple pie.” Ferguson is also remembered as baseball’s first entirely hairless manager.
29 – John Vukovich (1-1) – Vuke split his two games that split the regimes of Jim Frey and Gene Michaels. He always seemed like a very nice guy deserving of a chance to manage. He barely got it here. Hard to rank a guy with a 1-1 record 29th, but this is the Cubs. We ranked based upon what he did not do as much as what he did.
28 – Mike Quade (95-104) – He was bald. Totally bald.
27 – George Gibson (12-14) – Noted for two things – preceded Joe McCarthy as manager, and was inducted into the Canadian Sports Hall of Fame in 1958.
26 – Rick Renteria (73-89) – I thought Renteria was a decent manager, and so did Theo Epstein, who said Renteria would return for the 2015 season. That was until Joe Maddon became available as a Tampa Bay Rays expatriate. Hello, Joe! So long Ricky! Renteria landed on his feet for the rebuilding White Sox.
25 – Bob Kennedy (182-198) – The most successful of the College of Coaches, which is like being the tallest midget in the room. Kennedy is best known by Cubs fans for serving as the GM of the Cubs from 1977-1981.
24 – Whitey Lockman (157-162) – Taking over for Leo Durocher can’t be easy, and it wasn’t for Lockman. He seemed like a breath of fresh air before it became clear that he wasn’t. The Cubs were in full-on sell mode while Lockman lost, so their mediocrity was driven by roster moves more than managerial malfeasance.
23 – Frank Selee (280-213) – Pretty good record to be ranked #31, but Selee’s teams from 1902-1905 were good enough that I could have managed them to the World Series, and Selee never got there. Selee was well known for his hairy back, which prompted players to hang the nickname “Grizzly” on him.
22 – Jim Lefebvre (162-162) – Another perfectly mediocre manager. Despite living six blocks from Wrigley during his two-year reign, I have no memory of either liking or disliking him – which kind of makes sense.
21 – Hank O’Day (78-76) – Won a World Series for the Cubs, but not as a manager. O’Day was the umpire of the famous Merkle’s Boner game against the NY Giants. O’Day was the ump who called Merkle out at second, and the Cubs won the pennant as a result.
20 – Rogers Hornsby (141-116) – Great hitter, OK manager for some very good Cubs teams who underachieved. When Hornsby was replaced by Charlie Grimm in 1932, the Cubs got hotter than hell and won the National League pennant. They were swept in the subsequent World Series in part due to Babe Ruth’s called shot at Wrigley Field.
19 – Bill Killefer (300-293) – The early 1920s are not a memorable or well-chronicled time in the history of the Cubs franchise. As a result, this former catcher is neither well-regarded or poorly recalled.
18 – Johnny Evers (129-120) – Evers managed the Cubs for in 1913 and 1921 – one season successfully, and the other not so much.
17 – Herman Franks (238-241) – There was a hell of a half summer in 1977 as Franks led the Cubs to a 47-22 record. This was quite unexpected, as the Cubs were not predicted to contend, much less dominate the NL East. The Cubs were just as bad in the second half as they were good in the first, finishing with a .500 record. Franks gets graded up on this list for two reasons, he enjoyed his job, and absolutely went berserk when arguing calls. His tirades were among the best baseball has ever seen.
16 – Roger Bresnahan (73-80) – It’s hard to gauge the true quality of a manager during the brief time the Federal League signed some of the very best players in baseball, so we give Bresnahan the benefit of the doubt by ranking him this high.
15 – Dusty Baker (322-326) – 2003 was a Steve Bartman miscue away from potentially being incredible. They came so close to a first World Series since 1945! After that it was all downhill for an injury plagued pitching staff – and Baker, who many say hastened the spate of injuries. The Cubs finally bottomed out in 2006, Baker’s last season as they finished with a horrifying 66-96 record.
14 – Gabby Hartnett (203-167) – The hall of fame backstop won himself a pennant as a player-manager when he called on himself to pinch hit. He drove the “Homer in the Gloamin'” into the left field bleachers in the next to last game of the 1938 regular season. The reward was another World Series sweep at the hands of the New York Yankees.
13 – Tommy Burns (160-138) – As a manager, Ol’ Burnsy was known for his sunny disposition. After the 1899 season, Burns developed schizophrenia, resigned as manager, and dedicated the rest of his life to assassinating President William McKinley. Incredibly, on the day prior to his planned attack, anarchist Leon Czolgosz killed McKinley at a rally in Buffalo, New York. Despondent, Burns swore vengeance upon all men named Leon Czolgosz. Unable to locate any others, Burns spent his final days writing country songs that were found in the attic of a barn in the Smoky Mountains by Dolly Parton’s husband Carl Dean. One of those songs became one of Dolly’s greatest hits, “I Will Always Love You”.
12 – Jim Frey (196-182) – Frey got done what no one else had since Charlie Grimm in 1945 – qualify for postseason baseball. I would love to grade Frey down because the Cubs blew a commanding 2-0 NLCS lead over the San Diego Padres with three straight losses. The following year was a mess as the entire starting rotation landed on the disabled list simultaneously. Frey was fired during the 1986, and then returned as the GM in 1988. Among his silly moves – Lee Smith for Calvin Schiraldi and Al Nipper, Rafael Palmeiro and Jamie Moyer for Mitch Williams, Paul Kilgus, Steve Wilson, Curtis Wilkerson, and two minor leaguers. Yikes!
11 – Fred Mitchell (308-269) – Mitchell is known as the Cubs “War Manager” as he served the Cubs during and immediately after World War I. The Cubs won the pennant in 1918, but lost to the Boston Red Sox in that team’s last World Championship until they finally overcame the Curse of the Bambino 15 years ago.
10 – Don Zimmer (265-258) – Zim had some magic in 1989 – his second season at the helm. His hit and run with the bases loaded is the only time I’ve ever seen that. The Cubs won the NL East before losing to the Giants 4-1 in the NLCS. By 1991, the bloom was off the rose, and Popeye morphed into Wimpy.
9 – Lou Piniella (316-293) – Sweet Lou was the toast of Chicago in 2007 and 2008 as the Cubs made it to the postseason in his first two seasons. The Cubs were 0-6 in the two playoff series, and then Lou’s magic drained. He was fired during the 2010 season, which began a five-year streak of fifth place finishes.
8 – Hank O’Day (78-76) – Not too great a record for a top 10 guy, right? Well, O’Day won the 1908 World Series for the Cubs, but not as their manager. O’Day was the umpire of the famous Merkle’s Boner game against the NY Giants. O’Day was the ump who called Merkle out at second, and the Cubs won the pennant as a result. Without O’Day’s call, the Cubs would be down 1/3 of their world championships.
7 – Cap Anson (1,283-932) – He falls a bit on this list for two reasons – he was the best player of his era as manager which gave him a huge advantage over other managers, and he was reportedly a virulent racist. Anson’s era pre-dated 1900. No Cubs manager will ever catch his record for wins as a manager. If Joe Maddon might not make it to a sixth season, what are the odds for anyone getting to the minimum of 14-15 years to get to Anson’s 1,283.
6 – Leo Durocher (535-526) – Durocher’s overall record suffers because of a terrible 1966 (59-103) in his first season. From 1967-1972, the Cubs put together the first six season run of winning seasons since 1939. Leo the Lip was irascible, but he brought a winning swagger to a franchise sorely in need of one.
5 – Joe Maddon (451-318) – This might seem low for a guy whose teams have never failed to win 90 games, and who won the franchise’s first World Series since 1908, but I just watched the Cubs gak up a 5-1 lead to the Phillies in the bottom of the ninth, and I’m salty about it. The guy burns out a bullpen like no manager I’ve ever seen.
4 – Charlie Grimm (946-782) – Grimm had three stints as manager, and led the Cubs to three NL pennants. His teams were 0-3 in the World Series that followed. His nickname “Jolly Cholly” is among baseball’s best.
3 – A.G. Spalding (78-47) – Spalding managed and was a part-owner of the Cubs for those two seasons. He also notched 47 wins as a pitcher in 1876. Maybe he doesn’t belong this high on the list of managers, but he also founded Spalding Sporting Goods, so he was a hell of an entrepreneur.
2 – Frank Chance (768-389) – In seven seasons running the show, Chance led the Cubs to four pennants, and two of the team’s three world championships. He was a great player and leader, who along with Johnny Evers and Joe Tinker made up the most famous double play combination in baseball history. They didn’t write a poem about Concepcion, Morgan, and Perez, did they?
1 – Joe McCarthy (442-321) – In 24 seasons as a manager, McCarthy never led a team to a losing record. He was fired by the Cubs near the end of the 1930 season. He then led the Yankees through a decade and a half of excellence, including two World Series sweeps of the Cubs. He might not be the best manager of the Cubs ever, but he is the best manager to lead the Cubs.
Obviously, the entry for Tommy Burns is nonsense. If you believed any of it, thank you for reading that far.